The Lounge of the Adventurer – lots of randomness with sprinkles made of comedy and a filling of our finest quality spite

fading adagio

Posted on: 9 April 2008

I guess I really have been unhappy recently. It’s not really your fault, though – it’s just the combination of everything that’s beeen previously dragging me down, but with less strength of keeping me afloat coming from you, I’m sinking.

– – –

I’m such an idiot fool. Sometimes I “feel” random brushings or feelings against me – my hair, my hand, my face, my skin – and I think it’s you trying to brush up against me.

There is no magic in this world. It’s impossible that it could be you.

And who’s to say that you’d still even want to touch me? I don’t know that. I really don’t.

It’s just my imagination, and it’s just me wanting you to do something for me. Not you, in actuality, wanting to or doing anything for me. It’s just… selfishness and stupidity again.

– – –

Before I fall asleep, I talk to those pillows… I act to those pillows as if they were you. And I feel so guilty about it. I… I pretend the things that I’d want you to do for me, but nowadays the things I want you to do for me whenever I’m unhappy are the opposite of what you actually do… so I might as well not try anymore because it’s no use and everything would be wrong, wrong, wrong.

…I came to the realisation that it’s me who wants to collapse and throw myself around you and tell you “I love you, Ally,” instead of you collapsing on me and throwing yourself around me and telling me “I love you, Daniel.” It’s…

I’m just a damn fool.

– – –

So far, the only thing that has possibly brought a smile to my face today is the fact that the name “Miri” is a legitimate first name for a girl.

I just hope I can smile more today.


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My name is Daniel Hawking.

There are three fractions that make up this persona.

One of which is sealed closed via the physical realm of the world. One of which is unlocked via the medium known as the Internet. One of which is standing tall, watching over the wondrous horizon in front of him.

Of the first, this is the one most who have met me see, the one shunned, the one unappreciated, the one treated as entertainment instead of a colleague, the one shunted off to the side.

Of the second, only a select few have been able to meet. Coherency and truthful thoughts are the hallmarks of those knowing this fraction, as are trust and belief. Most of the dearest friends know of this section.

Of the third...? Revival of the finest order, as the phoenix of a prince rises from his own ashes. The adventurer, a traveler.

Regardless of fates, this is who I am now.

Daniel Hawking. Prince of Aralonia.

One of many.

A representative of Aralonia.

Together, the collective mindset of a nation.

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