The Lounge of the Adventurer – lots of randomness with sprinkles made of comedy and a filling of our finest quality spite

The Colloquialism Campaign.

Posted on: 23 April 2006

Heehee. I abosolutely love the fan mail I got since the start of the War on Terrorism Colloquialism.

Here’s the e-mail that sparked it all, from me:

“Can we not use these? Please? They’re annoying and incredibly hard to read through when an entire message is written in such “lolomgwtfbbq lez du summae [. . .]”. Hell, I can’t even write more than 4 words in that.

So. Less colloquialisms? Please? :D”

Now, isn’t that nice and understandable?

Apparently not to some people. So I got a big fat


as my first reply. Aww. So here’s my reply to that:

“Allow me to spell it out.

Don’t use “AIM-Speak” in e-mails. Save it for the more instant messnger services.”

So, I got a mess of crappy grammar in reply.

” omg! wer sooooo sry danny-boy! we neva knew that u would b sooooooo annoyed! we woulda stoped then. rly, we didnt think u care. sooooo sry!!!

btw, i neva heard it called aim spk b4!! gosh, ur sooooo funny! and soooo sophisticated!!! i cant imagine ne1 trying to annoy u wit ‘aim speak!'”

So, being Daniel Hawking, I replied like this, in the absolute manner of, as the “gamers” say, “pwnage”:

“Please reply in English.


-The Hawking Administration”


2 Responses to "The Colloquialism Campaign."

Oh, and you’ve spammed everyone in the 9th grade in the process…

Your point is? Heh.

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My name is Daniel Hawking.

There are three fractions that make up this persona.

One of which is sealed closed via the physical realm of the world. One of which is unlocked via the medium known as the Internet. One of which is standing tall, watching over the wondrous horizon in front of him.

Of the first, this is the one most who have met me see, the one shunned, the one unappreciated, the one treated as entertainment instead of a colleague, the one shunted off to the side.

Of the second, only a select few have been able to meet. Coherency and truthful thoughts are the hallmarks of those knowing this fraction, as are trust and belief. Most of the dearest friends know of this section.

Of the third...? Revival of the finest order, as the phoenix of a prince rises from his own ashes. The adventurer, a traveler.

Regardless of fates, this is who I am now.

Daniel Hawking. Prince of Aralonia.

One of many.

A representative of Aralonia.

Together, the collective mindset of a nation.

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