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Archive for April 2006

Oh, I forgot! Several days ago, in math class…

Me: [teacher's name removed], may I ask the class a question?

Teacher: Sure, Daniel, go ahead.

Me: *stands up, puts one foot on chair.* Alright, people. Show of hands, who hates me now? 

Okay. Currently, I think that one television series is the absolute win.

The television series "Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu" (涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱 or something like that), or, in English, "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" is made of awesome and win. So much awesome and win, in fact, that it has absolutely taken over the internet and completely kicked my ass.

Looky, it's HTML! And good HTML at that! Yay for Daniel!

This link here – made larger for convenience – is an edited version of the ED that also splices in parts of the OP instead of the stills in the ending, and also makes the dancing longer.

That dance is also some kind of kickass!

ONE MORE TIME: Oh, I just found a link to the best scene so far in the series. How to Blackmail Computer Geeks!

Heehee. I abosolutely love the fan mail I got since the start of the War on Terrorism Colloquialism.

Here’s the e-mail that sparked it all, from me:

“Can we not use these? Please? They’re annoying and incredibly hard to read through when an entire message is written in such “lolomgwtfbbq lez du summae [. . .]”. Hell, I can’t even write more than 4 words in that.

So. Less colloquialisms? Please? :D”

Now, isn’t that nice and understandable?

Apparently not to some people. So I got a big fat


as my first reply. Aww. So here’s my reply to that:

“Allow me to spell it out.

Don’t use “AIM-Speak” in e-mails. Save it for the more instant messnger services.”

So, I got a mess of crappy grammar in reply.

” omg! wer sooooo sry danny-boy! we neva knew that u would b sooooooo annoyed! we woulda stoped then. rly, we didnt think u care. sooooo sry!!!

btw, i neva heard it called aim spk b4!! gosh, ur sooooo funny! and soooo sophisticated!!! i cant imagine ne1 trying to annoy u wit ‘aim speak!'”

So, being Daniel Hawking, I replied like this, in the absolute manner of, as the “gamers” say, “pwnage”:

“Please reply in English.


-The Hawking Administration”

It has just occured to me that 792-ish people have visited this web page.

To that, I say – holy crap! Welcome to this sad part of the Internets!

Okay. So when parents ask you a question, for example “Do you want to go to [insert location here]?”, you’re going to think that they’re going to let you answer “No” and get away with it, right?


WRONG. No, they drag you along anyways, kicking and screaming, to a Cub Scout party of an obscure relative that I have nothing to do with. Yep.

Luckily, I got out of it by “doing my homework”. Now let me get back to Fable (video game).

I wonder. Is there a Wikipedia plugin for WordPress?

Times like this, I'd just want to give up on everything.

Granted, I'm at fault for some things – but really, when they're sources out of my control, it pisses me off that I can't do anything about them at all.

I'm not talking about the Internet Literacy Project, actually. That's completely under control, and I know what to do about that. Other things, however- some things that I am supposedly too juvenile to control – those are disappointing.


Posted on: 18 April 2006

So. Internet colloquialisms. Only in extreme hyperness should they be used on a sophisticated website (e.g. this one) or in an e-mail.

Of course, it's bloody annoying when you have to read through something that reads as such:

plz wear black and white tomarro for twin day
that way everybody will be twins
it wuz [Teacher, name removed]'s idea so plz do ititll be cute

so EVERYBODY PLZZZZZZZZZZ wear either white or black

ohk??thank u!!"

The Hawking Administration's Translation Department got this:

"ATTN: All Freshmen

Please, wear black and white tomorrow for the "Twin Day" spirit event."

How concise!


My name is Daniel Hawking.

There are three fractions that make up this persona.

One of which is sealed closed via the physical realm of the world. One of which is unlocked via the medium known as the Internet. One of which is standing tall, watching over the wondrous horizon in front of him.

Of the first, this is the one most who have met me see, the one shunned, the one unappreciated, the one treated as entertainment instead of a colleague, the one shunted off to the side.

Of the second, only a select few have been able to meet. Coherency and truthful thoughts are the hallmarks of those knowing this fraction, as are trust and belief. Most of the dearest friends know of this section.

Of the third...? Revival of the finest order, as the phoenix of a prince rises from his own ashes. The adventurer, a traveler.

Regardless of fates, this is who I am now.

Daniel Hawking. Prince of Aralonia.

One of many.

A representative of Aralonia.

Together, the collective mindset of a nation.

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April 2006